Days Like That

Today has been a sick day and it's been a day off of work. Not because I was sick, but because I had an eye appointment. So, I went and it was awkward, of course. (I make most anything that's formal into something uncomfortable.) But I was able to laugh, and now I have new contacts so I can see the world clearer. 

Man, is it beautiful.

That's not my point, but to this post there isn't a point.

Yesterday, it felt like a rainy-day party at work. It was really something. Way too many of us were scheduled, and since it was cloudy and wet, it was slow. We were all safe and dry though, and laughed way too much. I ate chicken noodle soup for lunch with a co-worker, and imagined what it'd be like to go out and stand in the rain. 

It was one of those work days that stands apart from the rest. The whole feeling was different, and part of me wishes I could recreate it. I guess though that would take some of the magic away. The unexpected is always the sweetest.

Do you have days like that? Days that leave you feeling thankful, for no particular reason, as much as for a thousand little ones?

Look

Have you ever wondered if you're enough?

Maybe you think that guy won't love you because you don't look perfect. No one looks perfect. The airbrushed models don't and no one you see in real life who you think is perfect is. They may seem that way, but they're not. You have beauty that no one else can have, because it's your very own. God gave you that beauty the moment He wove you together, and let me tell you, it's not going to wash off with cleanser or fade with the sun. And if a guy is meant to find you, he'll be blessed enough to keep you and all your beauty. He'll close his eyes and give thanks over and over that you didn't pass him by. You'll be his sweetheart, and all the insecurities you've been weighed down with won't even be visible. Will you please do me a favor and look at yourself like God and the one God has for you, does? Because that's who you are.  

Love/Living

I don't like crying in front of other people. It's not that I mind the tears themselves, but the fact that I'm letting my guard down openly. It's an insecure feeling and I honestly avoid it like the plague. 

Why am I suddenly on a rant now about crying? Yesterday I saw someone I don't know very well at all, but who's made my eyes well up and over more than once now, for better and worse. It's not their fault, nor mine. It's just how it's come to be, and it got me to thinking--thinking that maybe stretching my face out into a forced "putting on mascara"/horror movie pose to keep my eyes dry means that I'm taking this fear of crying too seriously. It's hardly anything to be ashamed of, yet I'm prideful over it--prideful that I won't show too much emotion around other people. After all, I do have intense emotions that I carefully protect from the terrible outside world. But that's just it, why do I need to protect my emotions--my love? What good are they to me if they're bottled up with a cork, unable to breathe and like faded photos in a yearbook? It's a risk to love, some say, but it's even more of a risk to show that love. Isn't that what love is for though, not just a feeling but an action. It reaches it's height and completeness when we give it away, not when we hold it close to ourselves, never allowing it see the light of day. This love we have, it may get hurt a little, which hurts us in turn, but by letting it live through all the good times and bad, the heartaches and laughs that are uncontrollable, I'm realizing that's where it's meant to be.

When I am Weak

I really love second chances.

I love when I make mistakes that I can prevent them next time.

Maybe this is seeing the glass too full, but that simple thought always cheers me up when things go wrong, or more like when I mess up. I think of Anne Shirley saying that one good thing about herself was that when she made mistakes she never repeated them. I wish I could claim that too, but all I can say is that disappointment from others and myself pushes me to try not to repeat it. A lot of that has been happening lately. It's a good thing really, because I can see God's work all throughout it. He takes my human frailty and gives me strength, His strength, to fix the problem, no matter how big or small. 

That's pretty much all my thoughts to say today. I know there wasn't a real rhyme or reason, but my heart sometimes needs to spill out words just because. 

Love to all of you. <3 

Oh and by the way, hug that person you really want to hug. I'm sure they need it.